Looking back over the year suddenly seems like slim pickings indeed: a bunch of remakes (nothing new there), shoddy english horror (Donkey Punch anyone?) and some foreign contributions which seem like fun, but then aren’t (Dead Snow, Martyrs). Plus the ones that had promise but didn’t deliver, I’m looking at you The Haunting in Connecticut and A Perfect Getaway (it just didn’t make sense!).

So, here goes – the team’s opinions on what they felt were the high and low-lights of the year:

Madwoman in the Attic

Best – Drag Me to Hell

Raimi back to what he does best, which you simply can’t argue with. Alison Lohman is fantastic, along with some great support from the likes of Justin Long and star turn from Lorna Raver as the hag (Raimi does seem to have a thing about hags doesn’t he?).
It’s disgusting, creepy and hilarious, the kind of film that plays back to you in your head when you think about it (particularly the first fight in the parking lot – amazing).
Honorable mentions to Zombieland (funny and you’ve got to love Woody Harrelson, but the Woody Allen-esque angst gags got a bit much for me), The Burrowers (good effort, lots of atmosphere) and Trick R Treat (awesome Halloween movie with some amazing cast members and beautiful set pieces).
Also, I can resist an acknowledgement of one of my favourite discoveries of the year: Christmas Evil. Amazing.

Worst – The Last House on the Left

Unfortunately its a real toughie to pick out the worst as there are so many contenders, but I think, for me anyway, this one is elevated to top spot by its pointlessness – another remake – and its deep moral repugnance. This movie left a bad taste in the mouth, with sadistic violence not earnt, indeed, its glorying in said violence. pah. Honourable mentions go to Friday the 13th (just insulting overall), and My Bloody Valentine (Surely no one involved in this really had their heart in it?).

Zombie2

Best – Zombieland

Okay so Drag me to Hell was the scariest film I saw this year and Paranormal Activity was the most disturbing and Trick r Treat was the most Halloweeney but the best film of the year was definitely Zombieland.
Reanimating the lifeless corpse of the zombie genre and giving it a new set of legs and teeth, this hilarious horror oozing originality had it all – from action to scares, from laughs to tragedy and best of all it was chock full of zombies.
Great action, a great cast and most importantly a great script it also contained hands down the best cameo of the year in any film.
If you didn’t see it go and see it as soon as you can. Now roll on 2010 and let’s see what it has to offer.

Worst – Staunton Hill

Cameron Romero’s failure of a film is the number one worst movie of 2009 and what more can I say about this stinking waste of celluloid that I haven’t already said? Quite a lot actually.
With a plot that is an insult to an imbeciles intelligence, acting so awful livestock could have done better, and less originality than a photocopy of a photocopier, not only should Cameron Romero be ashamed, but so should his father for even having the same dna as the director of this dreadful dirge.
This film is everything that is wrong with modern horror rolled into one painful, pointless, pound shop piece of poo. Not scary or funny or frightening or anything other than a total waste of 90 minutes of your life.

Jonesy the Cat

Best – Trick ‘r Treat

Technically released last year but screw it. We in Blighty were denied a theatrical release and so a 2009 dvd edition validates it’s candidacy. The wonderful thing about this film is how it both panders to the horror aficionados by adhering to genre conventions whilst treading enough new ground to make it a fresh and engaging experience.
It’s all together crass, smart, funny and stupid. It has also given us a new horror icon in Sam. A near perfect experience, see it.

Worst – Bundy

Again, a dvd release validated for the same reason. I have little more to say about this film I haven’t already said in my previous review. Like Bundy himself, this movie is disturbing for all the wrong reasons. This is film is a walking abortion, a complete abomination.

Zombie 1

Best – Dead Snow (Død snø)

Most of the time, I like them simple. And if you’re going to have to make a zombie film which breaks some important conventions (they can run etc) then you need to compensate, by making them Nazi’s for instance.
Dead Snow is very enjoyable, creepy, funny, and gory – all in generous portions. Guns, knives, chainsaws, explosions, isolation, cursed treasure, and good looking teens. Everything a ‘fun’ horror needs, but with enough original touches to hike this movie right up there in the ‘best ever zombie film’ rankings.
I also whole-heatedly agree with Mad Woman and Jonesy about Drag Me To Hell and Trick r Treat.

Worst – Walled In

Although it didn’t really get my worst rating of 2009, the more I think about it, the more I think Walled In sucked.
It had money, and visually it was pretty good, but the script was crap, the acting was poor and the whole general idea was just stupid.
The only thing remotely nasty about it was the idea of being buried alive in concrete. Other than that, there was nothing.

Happy New Year Everyone!
Let’s hope that 2010 brings us yet more excellent horror.

Thankfully rather than grab on to the first script that came along like a hungry flesh eating ghoul, Hollywood has waited for the right movie. Their patience is our reward because Zombieland is absolutely brilliant.

The film is the story of Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg), a regular teenager with obsessive-compulsive tendencies who is scared of everything and has never had a girlfriend. Oh, and he just happens to live in a post apocalyptic world infested by zombies.
His fear has kept him alive and the opening voice over explains the rules he has developed for survival, hilariously including Cardio and the Double Tap kill to make sure that the ‘dead stay dead’.

On his travels he teams up with gun totting Tallahasse (Woody Harrelson),  a man who has found his true calling in life – killing zombies. Together with a pair of world weary, savvy sisters, Wichita (Emma Stone) and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin) the dysfunctional band travel across American all in search of separate goals. Fighting to survive and to get along with each other, while crazed flesh eaters try to make lunch out of them at every step.

Much in the same way as everything they do, Hollywood has taken the humble British invented Rom-Zom-Com and made it bigger, louder and more exhilarating, whilst adding a hell of a lot more guns and explosions. This is no bad thing (apart from my personal disapproval of ‘fast’ zombies) and the movie is a gloriously gory laugh riot with a heavy doses of excitement on the side.

All this would be unimportant however if the script wasn’t as sharp, witty and brilliant as it is. A maggot infested belly full of laughs, at the centre of Zombieland is a touchy tale of belonging and love which plays along perfectly with the comedy.

It is also a cutting swipe at modern day America and credit is due to the relatively unknown team behind the film. The same team who have finally revived Romero’s original dual use of the undead, as both monstrous antagonists and satirical symbols.

The excellent script is brought to life perfectly by the brilliant cast. With Harrelson being especially enjoyable as the hard-ass, urban cowboy in search of the last Twinkie. Eisenberg’s jumpy, uncomfortable,  likableness gives his performance an early Woody Allen-esque quality, and he is rewarded with many of the best lines.

Stone and Breslin are also well versed in comedy having appeared in Superbad and Little Miss Sunshine respectively. And their sibling relationship is touching and very believable. Add in an almost film stealing cameo from a Hollywood legend playing himself, and you have a cast to die for, literally.

From the hilarious opening titles over slow-mo zombie killings, to the explosive and exciting fair ground set climax, Zombieland has it all. Horror, comedy, whatever this film is… So much more than the sum of its bloody and beautiful parts, defying categorisation and making it one of the best movies of the year.

Movie Rating: ★★★★★ 

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Additional film information: Zombieland (2009)