That's gonna get you in a whole heap of trouble...

But other horror movies have gone as far as to make everyday occurrences seem dangerous. And by viewing one of these flicks, it’s possible that your habits could be changed forever – no matter how unlikely the events in the movie are.
Here are five examples of films that once watched, could change the way you think forever (in a bad way).

1. Jaws

This is a classic example. A film that once viewed, is likely to pop into your head every time you even think about going into the sea. Although you can probably count the number of annual shark related deaths on both hands (just 447 fatal attacks worldwide between 1580 and 2010 according to the ISAF [1]), thanks to Jaws, the risk of you being eaten when in open water is always very real – even if you’re only paddling ankle deep or standing in a particularly deep puddle.

There are lots of stories about the mass panic that Jaws caused upon its release. People went out lynching sharks in fishing boats because all of a sudden they realized just what they were capable of.
But far more devastating than the impact on the shark population was the psychological trauma that was suffered by those that saw the movie. People were scared to swim in the sea, people were scared to swim in public pools, and people were scared to take a bath (probably).

Come on in, it's not so bad!

There was no denying that Jaws was an excellent film, playing on our psyche in a most effective way. But soon enough, this model of horror was jumped upon by just about every other film producer, playing on our every phobia and generally making us question whether it’s even safe for us to get out of bed in the morning.

Read the Love Horror review here: Jaws (1975)

2. Arachnophobia

Following on from the Jaws model is Arachnophobia, a film that took a great deal from the shark movie and brought the fear of nature out of the water and right into our dry, cosy, previously safe homes.
When a giant, killer spider from the Amazon hitches a ride to a small, sleepy American suburb it’s not long before it has reproduced with the local house spider and a deadly brood is killing off the human population.

Spiders are far from popular with people. In the west it is estimated that 55% of females and 18% of males have a phobia of them [2]. And although they creep us out, we like to avoid killing them as much as possible as they’re generally seen to be ‘good guy’ insects – killing flies and stuff. But maybe the reason that we actually leave them be is because we’re so scared that they might jump on us, bite us and cause pain and/or death. Ultimately, they just can’t be trusted.

Arachnophobia was widely seen as family entertainment and did well to water down horror to acceptable levels and thus make it suitable for network broadcast. But the long term psychological effect was huge and the TV networks inadvertently amplified the fear of spiders in an effort to raise viewer ratings.
After watching the movie any unusual looking spider that you found in your home could be a killer, cobwebs soon became potential death-traps and when discovered, it soon seemed like a good idea to incinerate any spiders nests with a match and an aerosol – just to be sure.
I bet you feel all itchy just thinking about it.

3. The Mist

John Carpenter did a good job at making us fear The Fog in his 1980 classic, but when we had just assured ourselves that ghost leper pirates weren’t a real threat, along came a film adaptation of Stephen King’s The Mist to keep us on our toes. That’s right, ghosts are unlikely, but a government experiment resulting in the emergence of mutant, space dinosaurs is just the sort of thing that we expect after exposure to Cloverfield, The Thing and Jurassic Park.

It seems conceivable that humans have tampered with nature/interdimensional travel enough to unleash a surreal mutant apocalypse and the fact that the monsters in The Mist are never really explained, just adds to the terror. ‘It’s all a cover-up, just like 9-11 and Area 51′ you tell yourself ‘My god this really could happen!’
The event in question takes place on a typical day in a typical daily setting (a supermarket) and added to the freaky things that lurk in the fog is the horror that lurks inside all of us – when there is an apocalypse, humans turn into assholes and turn on each other.

After bearing the tension of living in fear of mist and fog and people for a good hour you’re likely to never be able to look at a fog bank in the same way again. Is it just morning dew or the beginning of the end?
And then there’s the ending of the movie… Oh the ending!
It’s likely to leave a stain on your brain that will never be erased.

More damn spiders!

4. The Blair Witch Project

This genre defining found footage movie had a mixed reception. Upon its release approximately 50 percentage of the population found it terrifying and the other 50 percent just didn’t get it (nominated for Worst Picture of 1999 at the Razzie Awards [3] but also #12 in top 100 scariest movies of all time [4]).
The explanation for this difference in opinion was largely

Welcome to hell.

For those who haven’t had the pleasure of spending a frozen night in complete darkness, surrounded by unseen sounds and creatures, the idea of twig figures and scratchy noises just outside your tent are unfamiliar and not alarming.
But if you’ve camped in the wild and know how vulnerable a nylon shelter can feel when confronted by nature and your own imagination, The Blair Witch pretty much plays on everything you’ve ever feared.

As if bears, wolves, snakes and homicidal red necks weren’t enough to worry about, there’s now an invisible witch who plays with your mind before kidnapping and dismembering you. Worse still, she probably has friends – ghosts, werewolves, zombies. They all want to chow down on you in their creepy shell of a home.
‘Toasted marshmallows anyone? Wait, those aren’t marshmallows!!’

5. Audition

So you can avoid the sea, you can escape the fog and you can vow never to go camping again, but there’s one thing in all our lives that is hard to hide from. Love.
We’ve all been there. A relationship ends and we desperately long to find a new partner. And sometimes a friend offers to help out by arranging a blind date or two, or in the case of Audition, a mini X-Factor for girlfriends as opposed to pop stars. What’s the worst that could happen? You’re not going to end up living as a limbless mute in a sack are you? Well, maybe…

As if the fear of being alone wasn’t enough to play on our minds, thanks to Audition and other similar films (Fatal Attraction probably being the catalyst) it now seems very plausible that your next girlfriend will be straight up psychopath.
They could be beautiful (Species) or frumpy (Misery), looks don’t matter because ultimately it’s what’s inside that counts – a deranged mind which ultimately wants to toy with you, then kill you in a very slow and painful way.

"Shall we skip the 'are you a psycho' question? It really doesn't seem necessary..."

It’s no surprise then that after so many years of objectifying women, we would have a re-alignment. Women are equal with men on every level and that includes all the bad stuff;
yes they do fart,
no they don’t wake up looking beautiful,
and if they have issues, they’re just as likely to do you harm as the next guy.

Read the Love Horror review here: Audition

The full line-up is as follows:

Colin Dir: Marc Price 15 August
Check out our Full Review Here

Seed Dir: Owe Boll 16 August

5. Annie Wilkes – Misery
Okay so strictly speaking, Annie isn’t the girlfriend of Paul Sheldon. They don’t have a relationship as such, she just idolises her favourite author. But don’t say that too loud when she’s around, as you’re liable to get your ‘ankles broke’.
There’s two things that Annie knows how to do, and they are nursing and being an obsessed psycho. And if the man in her life doesn’t do things just the way that she wants, she’s liable to fly off the handle and do some serious physical damage – only to later repair it, and more than likely, do it all over again a couple of days later.

No doubt she’s one woman not to get involved with. BUT to her defence, as long as you keep typing, you can actually keep her quite sweet. She’s not as lethal as she could be.

4. Carrie White – Carrie

This one is a bit tougher to read. If you met Carrie White in a park or something and didn’t know about her problems at school, she might seem like an innocent, unassuming, and somewhat withdrawn person. Nothing to start the alarm bells ringing initially, and definitely nice enough to take home to Mum.
However, when meeting aforementioned family member, it might be best to put away any valuable ornaments and perhaps use plastic crockery to avoid nasty splinters.
Also, do not spill anything red, like wine for instance, on her clothing as this is likely to make her blow her top and could result in mass casualties as a consequence of her powerful telekenetic abilities. This could be just as hazardous in a number or social situations. If she gets sad/angry, things just happen.
Walking on egg shells is an understatement. This is one girlfriend that you would never want to upset.

3. Sil – Species

Sil (played by Natasha Henstridge) is a predatory alien. She has come to earth to don a human (and rather attractive) disguise in order to mate with human men. The plan is to get pregnant and have lots of alien babies which in turn could be a threat to human society – seeing as how much they like to kill us.
If you met her, to begin with you wouldn’t believe your luck. She doesn’t mess around and tells a guy exactly what she wants. And as long as you can deliver, it’s all good (for you, but not the planet).
However, if you have any trouble ‘delivering the goods’, ‘performing in the bedroom’ or ‘sealing the deal’ you’re likely to be killed pretty instantly.
She’s in a rush you see.

The fact that she’s an alien means that she can’t really be reasoned with either, so no amount of roses and chocolates are going to save you. It’s best to stay away from this one.

2. Asami Yamazaki – Audition

Asami is quiet, beautiful, and most importantly (to widowed Shigeharu Aoyama) the winning entrant in a kind of X-Factor for girlfriends. Problem is, this contest is done without the knowledge of the women involved. Another problem is that Asami is as obsessive, ruthless and deadly as she is beautiful. And when she feels that Shigeharu has done her wrong, she doesn’t hesitate to deal with him in a most horrifically torturous way.

So, worth the risk? As long as you kept your nose clean, perhaps you could make a good go of it?
Well, maybe not as Asami has serious issues and has a string of ex’s who all very much regret meeting her. Some are still alive, but are living out their existance in big sacks, with bits of them missing. And without a tongue, how are you going to kiss her anyway?

1. Christine – Christine

Okay, she’s a car. So what? People can love cars can’t they? And there was a documentary on TV once about people that go all the way with them… Seriously.
But in the words of Jonsey The Cat the connection between Arnie Cuningham and his automobile is the ‘epitome of the overbearing relationship’.

Many of us have been there. You and your mate have been friends for a long time. He meets a new girl and, well, he changes. Maybe he doesn’t go out with the boys as much anymore; perhaps he loses his sense of adventure; or as in the case of Arnie, perhaps he just wants to run everyone over all the time.
He does have his reasons. He’s a nerd and he only wants revenge on those who torment him. But, Christine really is a bad influence on him and even takes matters into her own hands if Arnie isn’t around to do murderous deeds himself.
Plus, if you try to get between them, you’re likely to end up dead too. So don’t be the ‘volunteer buddy’ that has a one-to-one talk to Arnie about how much he has changed. You’ll more than likely end up squished.

Christine will not let you go, and even if you did want to leave her, you probably wouldn’t be able to, seeing as how she has a kind of hypnotic control over her lovers/owners.
It’s best to nod politely, say ‘yes dear’ and perhaps hum along to the 50′s rock and roll that she likes to play.

But, the morning after finally making the effort to view it, the twisted elements that make up Takashi Miike’s Audition are still playing on my mind.

After a lengthy illness, Ryoko Aoyama dies, leaving her husband, Shigehiko and son to carry on without her. Both take the loss hard, and Shigehiko struggles to have any relationships with the opposite sex for 10 years.
Eventually, with some encouragement from his son, the widower decides that he is ready to find a new lady but is unsure about how to go about it.
His friend, Yasuhisa works in the film industry and has an interesting suggestion, that he should help him to audition for a film that may or may not ever happen. The purpose of which being to invite a thousand or so women to meet them, quiz them, then perhaps take any favourites out for dinner with a view to marrying them. He doesn’t hang around.
Okay, it’s a bit deceitful, but a long way from evil. Or am I only saying that because I’m a man?

Shigehiko eventually finds a lady (Yamazaki Asami) that seems to tick all of the boxes. And although there’s something a little strange about her, he soon falls in love and the relationship grows.
However, that ‘little’ bit of strangeness turns out to be quite a lot of strangeness, and nastiness and in a Fatal Attraction sort of way, Shigehiko soon regrets ever agreeing to the whole audition idea.

Seasoned director Miike has a talent for making his audiences feel uncomfortable.
Audition is slow and methodical, drawn-out and torturous, much like actions of Yamazaki (the auditionee) later on in the film.
For much of the experience find yourself waiting impatiently for some clue about what lies ahead – wondering what might happen to Shigehiko – as, for instance, you watch 5 minutes of him and his son having a mundane conversation, followed by him washing the dishes.
And it’s a clever device. This crawl contrasts well with the confusing rapid cuts, flashbacks and dreamlike (or nightmarish) visions that occur later in the film. Day-to-day life, drudgery and boredom replaced by surreal events, passion and anxiety.

The formality of Japanese life and its patriarchal bias is possibly even over emphasised. It’s made clear that Shigehiko and men in general are responsible for their own chauvinistic actions and any effects that may stem from them. He wanted to take ownership of a new woman, and wanted to scrutinise and select from them as a farmer would with livestock. But as we discover, looking for a partner in such a way can have its consequences.

The film is beautifully haunting. From the stark, brightly-lit audition room, to the glowing, hellish ballet school. And Eihi Shiina’s (Yamazaki) gangly, unassuming frame is immediately fascinating and intimidating.
The levels of realism (as is often the case with Asian horror) are exceptional. At no point do you feel as though the people before you are acting. And with the first half of the film being more of a documentary than a feature film, it’s easy to forget what you are watching altogether – putting you in a position of uncertainty and discomfort throughout.

Audition is nasty, and is sure to have a lasting effect on you, but not for the reasons that I was expecting.
It’s not about gore, and it’s not about jumps and scares. What is guaranteed to freak you out is the motives, the what ifs and the hideous reality of it all.

Although I’ll probably be criticised for making the comparison with Fatal Attraction, I can’t help but think that they are essentially the same tale. But with Audition having the complexity that the Hollywood film lacked, while at the same time being simple enough to not lose the viewer.

If you want a creepy, unnerving night in, this is hard to beat. And if you’re a man, this is a surefire way to make you feel quite satisfied with the woman that you’re with and probably put you off ever feeling the need to ‘play the field’ again.

Movie Rating: ★★★¾☆ 

Audition is out now as part of an amazing Asian Horror box-set (along with Dark Water and The Eye) released by Palisades Tartan.

You can buy it with Free Delivery from:

Trailer:

Additional film information: Ôdishon (1999)